WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

* Bicycles don't get pregnant.
* You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.
* Bicycles don't have parents.
* Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
* You can share your Bicycle with your friends.
* Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.
* When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.
* Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.
* Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.
* Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.
* You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle"
        unless you go out to buy one yourself.
* If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.
* If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.
* If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics
        with it.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.
* If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before
        you ride it again.
* You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't
        get frustrated.
* Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump
        it.
* Bicycles don't get headaches.
* Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
* Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.
* Bicycles don't care if you're late.
* You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
* If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
* You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to
        take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
* The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a
        decent helmet.
* When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had
        the last time you were on your Bicycle.



WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN MEN!

* Bicycles don't work late.
* Your Bicycle stays as clean as you want it to.
* Bicycles don't have parents or kids.
* Bicycles don't get sick.
* Bicycles don't get overweight, except as per your convenience.
* If your Bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
* If your Bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
* You can check out the guy who works on your Bicycle.
* If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before
        you ride it again.
* Your Bicycle always has time for you.
* Bicycles don't complain and don't ride away from you when the road gets 
rough.
* Bicycles don't watch TV.
* Bicycles don't shave.
* Bicycles don't snore.
* Bicycles don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
* Bicycles are better protection in a bad neighborhood.