There are certain categories of Estate Agent who claim to have a thin veneer of respectability as a result of obtaining pseudo-professional qualifications. This makes them Fellows of the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors - commonly abbreviated to FRICS. Thought - can we assume that with equal opportunity legislation, these Fellows should be Persons?

It is a little known fact that on qualification, these Persons have to spend a probationary year with a senior Surveyor and their final appointment is dependent on favourable reports regarding technical competence, leadership and inter-personal skills etc.

Itemised are extracts from Estate Agents final reports:-

His team would follow him anywhere - but only out of curiosity.

I would not breed from this agent.

This agent is not so much a has-been - but more a definitely won't be.

When he opens his mouth it seems this is only to change whatever foot was previously in there.

He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

He has carried out every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

Technically sound - but socially impossible.

He reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

He has delusions of adequacy.

When he joined us he was something of a granny, since then he has aged considerably.

Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

He sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Only occasionally wets himself under pressure.